A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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