have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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