so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
MIDGETS
????
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
