Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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