Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
