it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
