This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
