No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
