So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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