He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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