the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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