Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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