the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
