i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize