Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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