she sounds like chewbacca in bed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
