my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize