I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
