his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
