I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
