Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
