Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
