Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
