guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Im part way to drunk.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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