Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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