i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
babies were throwing up all over the place
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Randomize