You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I got chris browned last night
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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