I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
