I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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