I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
