even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
