looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
