what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
