Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
