If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
