So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
