I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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