just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
