in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize