he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
