2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
