she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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