last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
