my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
