'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We had to coat check the pizza.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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