the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
