awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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