Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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