fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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