I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize