gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
