i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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