is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
