Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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