Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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