I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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