Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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