to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
