I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
