Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize