He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
