WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The adults are the big ones right?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
