After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
