Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
