Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
