Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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