bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
